Family next door

We recently returned from big family reunion at Morro Bay, bringing together four generations descended from five sisters nearly a hundred years ago.  People from all over the country travelled to the California coast for the gathering and it was amazing.  I married into this family, and knew going in that I would not know the majority of the reunion attendees, but it didn’t matter.  I was excited to hang out with all these people, because we are family.  That’s a strong word.  Family. 

There was an instant bond with these new-found family members, a bond that leads to offers of help and sacrifice at a moment’s notice for and from people we just met.  It was an amazing feeling, and we wished we had known all these people sooner, especially the ones that live five minutes from our house.  Family, real live family, live five minutes from our house here in Bakersfield.  We were a bit ashamed that we didn’t know that earlier, allowing us to put that cool family bond into action.  They were right under our noses, and we under theirs.  Sometimes we just don’t make a big enough effort to know who our family is.

I was thinking, as we drove back to Bakersfield, regaining the 40 degrees we had lost by going to Morro Bay, that from a Christian perspective, we know perfectly well who our family is.  It’s the next door neighbor we never exchange more than a head nod with.  It’s the checker at FoodMaxx, who has her name on her name tag and you see her every week, but you don’t know who she is.  It’s the crossing guard who helps our kids to school, but is otherwise invisible.  It’s the girl behind the counter at Starbucks.  It’s the kid selling peanut M&Ms in the Target parking lot for a “good cause.”  It’s all the people we ignore.  It’s all the people we may even label “the least of these,” which would make it very clear how we should act.

It’s the visitor who walks through the church doors on Sunday.  THEY are family.  It’s a long awaited family reunion.  I know there are some Sundays when those visitors are welcomed like the prodigal son and they can smile for the first time in a long time.  I know, from experience, there are some occasions when the visitor is invisible to the church “family” they’ve walked in on. 

Everyone we come in contact with, all children of God, are a part of our family, and how great is it to have that chance for joyful reunion?  I had an amazing time at our reunion on the coast, mostly with people I had met for the first time.  We are family.  I meet people every day for the first time, and I know I fall short of the reunion God would hope for.  I’m going to try harder.

Separation of Church and Church

For years I have been shaking my head at the continual twisting of the idea of “separation of church and state” into the “prohibition of church in the state,” and declaring that the reason for the decline of Christianity in our Christian nation.

 Nope.  That’s not it.

 It’s not the government’s job to spread God’s message.  Would it be nice if we had a truly Christian government that stood up for those rights?  Sure!  Silly question.  But we don’t.  And that is not our problem.

 I’ve heard it several times in the last few weeks.  “Churches get in the way of the Church.”  “God hates religion.”  “Churches scare people away from God.”  Christianity is so fractured and separated that outsiders don’t care to sort it all out and figure out where they belong.  The separation of church and church has become the major obstacle to sharing the truth.

 I’ve attended services or been a part of events at several Bakersfield churches and they are awesome!  I’ve been to Baptist churches, Nazarene, Mennonite, and Non-Denominational (which is basically a denomination).  Great people and great hearts everywhere.  What if they all worked together?  Why do they have to hold tightly to the man-made differences?  Are the cornflake potatoes really that much better at the Lutheran potluck than they are at the Methodist?

 My wife and I were enjoying the worship service at Ridgeview Community Church recently, and Pastor Daren Pitcher used one of my favorite analogies to date.  He explained that when we as a country go to war, we have a specific plan to defeat the enemy.  It’s a tried and true plan of separating the enemy, isolating them in groups, cutting of their communication, and then sweeping in to destroy them.  It works.  Check the history books.

 Our enemy sits back and watches while we do all the prep work for him to come in and do the destroying.  We separate.  We stick to our own and even have little cliques of churches.  One congregation doesn’t know what the other (a quarter mile away) is doing.  And we want to blame the government and media for the fall of Christianity.  We’re great at pointing fingers.

 “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;  one Lord, one faith, one baptism;  one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”  Ephesians 4:3-6 (NIV)

 What if, even if only here in Bakersfield, all the churches became THE church?  What if we set aside the differences long enough to withhold judgment for those differences and get the word out as one body that “God doesn’t hate you?”  What if we actually communicated with each other for the better communication to those missing out on God’s love?  Why do we choose to NOT do that and stand in God’s way?  That’s right.  We, God’s “followers,” are standing in his way.  Let that marinate in your mind for a minute.

 Now, I said it before.  There are MANY incredible churches in Bakersfield.  There are awesome ministries going on and people being reached for God.  Great things are being done by separated and isolated groups.  What if they, what if we, were one?

 When Jesus prays for something, it’s a good time to pay attention.  Jesus prayed, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”  John 17:20-23 (NIV)

 “That all of them may be one.”

 “Then the world will know that you sent me.”

 What does the world think right now?

 Let’s get together, Bakersfield, and quit pointing the finger somewhere else.  Imagine the possibilities.  Biggest potluck ever!

“Not now, God. I’m in church.”

So I was sitting in church yesterday, and I have to make a confession.  Halfway through the sermon, I was tuning out.  No offense, Brent.  This actually happens more often than not.  What happens is that a sermon illustration or quote of scripture, or some other anecdote will spark an idea for a writing project.   Now, typically my response to this involuntary brain function is to shake it out of my head and try to be a good church goer, hanging on every word.  That’s when it hit me yesterday.  That may be an involuntary function of MY brain,  but it is intentional on God’s part.  That is when he speaks to me and my writing!  And for years, I have been shaking those thoughts out of my head, putting them on hold, and basically saying, “Not now, God.  I’m in church.”  I thought about that statement for most of the rest of the sermon.  (Brent, I think it would actually MAKE a good sermon).  We do that all the time.  How many opportunities do we miss because we brush God off, because his intentions for us don’t fit into our personal timeline.  Even when we are playing church!  So I commit right now to follow my mind when it wanders, and to never again utter the ridiculous phrase, “Not now, God.  I’m in church.”

When did we become a country of self-serving, spoiled, gimme-gimme freeloaders?

Was it the sixties?  I don’t know.  Maybe.  I wasn’t there.  Rant coming in three, two, one…

Seriously people, I’ve had the education in America conversation multiple times in the last week and it is VERY disheartening to listen to people who think they are owed something talking about how the government is failing in education.  People want to complain about the system.  They want to argue that the government should be doing more.  Where we stand is not he government’s fault.  They HAVE been trying to regulate testing and make up for poor decisions by individual school districts.  What do you want them to do?

“Well, it’s obvious, Kevin.  They need to increase funding.”

Wonderful, Einstein.  Then they’ll need to start planting the money-tree crops.  What?  There’s no such thing?  Well then they will have to tax you.

“No way, Kevin.  The government isn’t taking any more of my money.”

Cheapskate.

There is no more funding coming people!  We have to eliminate children if you want better teacher/student ratios.  You could actually do something about illegals if you want to do that, but gosh golly, you’d be offended if I said that, too.

Here’s the deal.  The most underfunded and underresourced school in America is still better than most of the world.  And guess what?  Even in the “worst” schools in America, there are kids who succeed.  And it’s not luck.  Which brings me to my bottom line.

An education is only as successful as the parents want to make it.  But parents don’t care any more…  because their parents didn’t care…  were multiple generations into the care-free cycle now, and parents want public schools to be daycare and for their children to come home as geniuses.  Then they will argue that the schools are not good enough, there are too many students, and the teachers are bad.  Don’t make me slap you.  Why don’t you go spend a couple hours in your kid’s class and help out?  Why don’t you spend some time with your child after school?  I mean pull yourself away from the internet, the TV, your precious nap time and DO something about your kids’ future.

“But Kevin, I just don’t have time.”

Make up your mind.  Either you care about your child’s education, or you don’t.  If you don’t, I can’t help you.  If you do, prove it.  Quit complaining and do something.  Remember, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country?”

Spoiled brats.

And what else gets me is that people will pull their kids out of school and do home schooling because “the public schools are bad.”  Bull crap.  If your reason is that you are qualified to teach and have the time, great, but don’t blame the schools.  It’s offensive and arrogant.   Why would you want to work more?  Send your kid to school and then actually BE a parent and follow up with your kid each day.  Why would you not want all the free stuff?  There’s not ENOUGH free stuff for you??

Again, if you’re qualified to home school, great.  I’m not banging on you.  But I’ve seen several home school parents who are harming their children’s future in both social skills and basic education.  All in the name of giving the finger to the public school system.

Silly.

Education in America.  Shut up and do something yourself to make it better.  Drop the excuses.  Drop the childish selfishness.  Drop the laziness.  Get off your butt and do something yourself instead of complaining for the government to do something for you.

Maybe what we really want is Communism, but with nicer stuff?  Because it seems to me that’s what people want.  They want to be spoonfed by the government while they do nothing.  Decide if you care or not.  And by “care” I mean have the capability to take action.  I don’t mean the capability to complain.  You’ve already fully demonstrated that prized talent, America.  It’s embarrassing.

The New Cover!

Here’s the cover for Borne of Four, which I should have ready for sale  by the end of the month, if not sooner.  Brent did an awesome job!  The actual cover does not have the white border, but I wanted it to separate from my blog background.  What do you think?

That flush you hear is our country circling the drain but we’re afraid to reach into the toilet to pull it out. Wouldn’t want to get our hands dirty!

For an upcoming school visit, I was asked if the mention of God could be removed from my order form that is going home with the students prior to my visit.  This is no surprise, of course.  The United States has been trying to kill God for half a century now.  BUT, it is my first personal encounter with the assassination attempt.

So let me share some thoughts.

Our country has twisted separation of church and state into state approved church activity.  Check the origins people.  The phrase was intended to DISALLOW the governemnt from telling the church what to do, NOT disallow the church from existing outside its cage.

Our country is turning freedom of religion into religion-free.  It is ironic and extremely irritating, that under the banner of “freedom of religion,” Christians are figuratively handcuffed to preserve the “freedoms” of others.

If YOU are a Christian and you don’t believe this is a problem, go read your Bible again (or maybe for the first time?).  At our current rate, it will happen in our lifetime.  Our country will be destroyed.

I was asked to remove “God” because there are a few families who practice other religions.  One, if you are afraid that the single mention of God will sway your children from your beliefs, then either God is more powerful, or you are not “practicing” your religion hard enough with your children.  Two, I do not practice religion.  God is not my religion.  He is my life.  Yet I am asked to remove that.  The government wants to impose curriculum to promote tolerance of gays and THEIR practices, because that is who they are and they should be allowed to freely be who they are.  But Christians?  Oh no.  We’re all just a bunch of loonies trying to impose our beliefs on the world.  What do you think the gays are doing??  “Tolerance” in this country has become a direct attack on Christianity and not even a veiled one anymore.  It is open and obvious.  As I’ve said before, Tolerance is Ignorance.  The problem also lies with the Christians who are turning a blind eye to the attack.  Seriously people.  If you believe a single page of the Bible, go read it again.  We’re in trouble as a nation.  If you care to know, ask me for which parts to read.

I will not hide who I am.  I will not remove God from my writing, the very gift he gave me.

Father/Son Camping

Layton and I went fishing and camping at Lake Isabella this week, just the two of us…  one of the million dreams a dad has in that first five seconds after a son’s birth.  It was a blast.  We didn’t catch any fish, but we had a great time just talking and riding bikes and setting marshmallows on fire.

The view from our campsite

 

Good times in the tent

 

Sunrise.  God is pretty good at that.

 

Waiting for the sun to take the morning chill off.

 

Layton was casting farther than me half the time.

 

A picture at our “secret” fishing spot we discovered.

 

Silliness…

Great memories, for both of us I hope.

“Is it gonna hurt?”

Today, Holly came in crying with two splinters in her finger.  They were deep, with no exposed ends.  Ya, that’s right, the really fun kind.  I sat her down, then went to get a needle and tweezers.  Of course, her eyes darted right to the needle.  She started crying again and asked, “Is it gonna hurt?”  What could I say?  To say “no,” would very quickly become an obvious lie with the first poke of the needle.  I told her that it was going to hurt a little, but when it was done, the splinter would be gone and it wouldn’t hurt anymore.  I explained that the other option is to leave the splinter in, but that could lead to a lot more, and greater, pain.  I told her she needed to be brave and trust me.  She did.  I was so proud of her.  She cried, mixed with several heart-melting refrains of “Ow, Dad! Ow!”  But I got it out.  And I had to dig!   When it was done, I showed her that the splinter was gone and she was going to heal.  I hugged her and thanked her for being so brave and for trusting me to help her even when it hurt.  She thanked me and hugged me back.

I couldn’t help but think that was a small reflection of our relationship with God.  We often have splinters in our life.  Some are there in spite of our efforts and some are there because of them.  I think God must say so often, “It is going to hurt, but if you give it to me and trust me, I can remove it.”  I felt silly telling my daughter to trust me in spite of the pain, when I know I often shy away from giving things over to God because of the pain I know it may cause.

But like I told Holly, the alternative is to leave the splinter in, to leave the problem in our life, and it will grow into something much more painful and problematic.

What are you hiding from God, in fear of the painful solution?  Of course we can’t really hide anything from God, but the first step is holding out your finger to have the splinter removed.  Or you can keep your pain to yourself and let it grow.

I had a tear in my eye, listening to Holly cry because I was poking her with a needle, but it was the only solution.  There was a different tear in my eye when she saw her finger was fixed and she returned my hug with a “thank you.” 

That’s what a father wants.  That’s what a child wants.  That’s what God wants.

How long will it last?

So Jill and I were partnering up on the laundry while watching Idol last night, and I noticed Jilll studying a pair or Layton’s jeans.  I could see some pen markings on them and she was trying to decipher them.  He had drawn a heart on his jeans with some writing in it.  Uh oh.  Jill couln’t make out the writing, so she gave it to me.  It was hard to read because it was scrunched up.  Then my own heart swelled.  It says “Mom.”

There’s always room for more.

I’ve always heard expectant parents who are adding a second child wonder if they can love another as much as the first.  I never bought it.  Love is not a quantitative thing that we have a finite amount of.  It’s not a thing as much as it is an ability.  Anyway, I never bought into the idea of not being able to love two children as much as one.

As we are expecting our third and still waiting on our fourth, I’ve been reflecting on the last six years of Layton’s life and four years of Holly’s.  My relationship with each is so different from the other.  Layton and I love each other in the activities we do together, whether it be sports, games, conversation or watching TV together.  I can see that’s what he wants from me, and he sees my love in that.  I see love for me in his smile and his continuous asking to do all of those activities together.  I see love for me in his asking me if he did well.

Holly.  She’s a character.  She will still curl up with her blanket in my lap, and I hope she still does that ten years from now.  She runs to my arms every time I pick her up from pre-school.  We have our special “Daddy and Holly” times and we have the greatest conversations.  We play together and wrestle and she pretends to be angry, but is always smiling.  She colors pictures for me to hang up on my wall, and will even tape them there herself.  She is a night owl like me, and sometimes we share an extra “secret” dessert when everyone else is sleeping and we can’t.

I’ve developed a unique relationship with each and I love it.  God created us in his image, and think of all the unique loving relationships he has with each of us.  We were designed to do the same thing.  I can’t wait for number three to get here and I dream about what our relationship will be like.  The same for number four.  There’s always room for more.